hope and optimism

It's Dec.14 and with the year coming to an end it makes a person look back on the year behind us. For me, it seemed like another year of struggles following the last 5 year of struggles ( My whole life has been full of struggles, however, the last 5 have been somewhat more than other years). I was once told my life runs in cycles of 5. Important events happen, for example 5 years apart or last for 5 years or in multiples of 5. My father passed away 5 years after my mom. I met my ex-husband 5 years after my father passed away and so on. For the last 6 or so months have really felt that I am on the verge of change in my life. Perhaps because it has been 5 years since my ex and I split. That's just one of the things. The past month especially, even though I haven't been able to attend class as much as I would like to, I like where my life is heading. Things seem to be falling into place and the fog of troubles seems to be lifting. By chance or coincidence, I seem to be meeting people in my life that are helping me be the person I want to be. I feel like I have finally learned the lessons I was supposed to learn from all those years of hardship and now it is time to live life with quality. I am looking forward to 2011 and every year after and I am looking forward to being a martial artist and being the best person I can be. Also, I know for a fact that being a part of Silent River Kung Fu and training to be a martial artist has helped me tremendously learn the lessons I needed to learn to get me where I am today.

Afternote, February of 2011, will mark my 10 year anniversary of starting Kung Fu.

Better late than never, I guess

Well, I finally got around to figuring this out. Blogging is totally foreign to me but here I go. I am at the point in my training that I question myself everyday " Am I ready for black belt?" Sometimes when I do something right and it flows so nice and feels good, I think, YAH! Bring it on! and then other times I feel like I'm an imposter pretending that I am anywhere near being a real black belt. My mind is playing a lot of games with me now. But I have to keep on track and focused and remember how much I have learned over the years. Overall, I'm feeling good and feel good about the effort that I am putting into this.

Today's a good day.

Attendance

June 5, 2010
I have completed my first week of attending Kung Fu classes 4 mornings and friday, (except this monday) and I feel such a relief. The reason I feel such a relief is the fact that I now feel like I am doing everything in my power and potential to practice for my black belt with intensity. I don't have the stress of the deadline. If I can't be ready for black belt by attending 5 classes a week then there is something wrong with me. I am soooo glad I am doing this because I also have a wealth of wisdom that I am drawing from 5 days a week. All I have to do is show up and because of that, I am starting to get into the shape that I want to be in and I am already seeing improvement in different areas. I am excited about the improvement not only with my forms and technique but also how physically fit I will be. This is like being used to eating sirlion and then trying filet mignon. Once you've had the best that's all you want. I'm hooked because I am feeling like I did when I was a lower belt, when I was progressing every week. I'm progressing at a faster rate again and am getting my enthusiasm back. This was the best move that I could have made and urge other students to attend as many classes as possible.