Starting a new year and new outlook

It is Jan. 8 and it has been one week since I started eating better, exercising and getting back to my artwork. I feel really good about my new atitude and have a good outlook. I guess I finally got fed up with the two steps ahead one step back, two steps ahead, three steps back kinda way my life had been going. I've decided to take FULL control and remove any obstacles that are am impeding me from getting what I want out of life and to stop making excuses for not being where I want to be at this time in my life.

I currently don't have a vehicle because I need to get a vehicle inspection done before I can renew registration and insurance, which costs money, so, I can't get to Kung Fu, which is a bummer. But I am not quitting. Even if I miss enough classes that makes me ineligible to test this year, I care but it's not the end of the world. I want to be a student of Kung Fu for the rest of my life so this is a small setback in the grand scheme of things.

I miss the classes and the commeraderie of the students. But I am working on getting back to class as soon as possible and in the meantime I am getting back into shape so that the first set of 50 pushups won't kill me.

hope and optimism

It's Dec.14 and with the year coming to an end it makes a person look back on the year behind us. For me, it seemed like another year of struggles following the last 5 year of struggles ( My whole life has been full of struggles, however, the last 5 have been somewhat more than other years). I was once told my life runs in cycles of 5. Important events happen, for example 5 years apart or last for 5 years or in multiples of 5. My father passed away 5 years after my mom. I met my ex-husband 5 years after my father passed away and so on. For the last 6 or so months have really felt that I am on the verge of change in my life. Perhaps because it has been 5 years since my ex and I split. That's just one of the things. The past month especially, even though I haven't been able to attend class as much as I would like to, I like where my life is heading. Things seem to be falling into place and the fog of troubles seems to be lifting. By chance or coincidence, I seem to be meeting people in my life that are helping me be the person I want to be. I feel like I have finally learned the lessons I was supposed to learn from all those years of hardship and now it is time to live life with quality. I am looking forward to 2011 and every year after and I am looking forward to being a martial artist and being the best person I can be. Also, I know for a fact that being a part of Silent River Kung Fu and training to be a martial artist has helped me tremendously learn the lessons I needed to learn to get me where I am today.

Afternote, February of 2011, will mark my 10 year anniversary of starting Kung Fu.

Better late than never, I guess

Well, I finally got around to figuring this out. Blogging is totally foreign to me but here I go. I am at the point in my training that I question myself everyday " Am I ready for black belt?" Sometimes when I do something right and it flows so nice and feels good, I think, YAH! Bring it on! and then other times I feel like I'm an imposter pretending that I am anywhere near being a real black belt. My mind is playing a lot of games with me now. But I have to keep on track and focused and remember how much I have learned over the years. Overall, I'm feeling good and feel good about the effort that I am putting into this.

Today's a good day.

Attendance

June 5, 2010
I have completed my first week of attending Kung Fu classes 4 mornings and friday, (except this monday) and I feel such a relief. The reason I feel such a relief is the fact that I now feel like I am doing everything in my power and potential to practice for my black belt with intensity. I don't have the stress of the deadline. If I can't be ready for black belt by attending 5 classes a week then there is something wrong with me. I am soooo glad I am doing this because I also have a wealth of wisdom that I am drawing from 5 days a week. All I have to do is show up and because of that, I am starting to get into the shape that I want to be in and I am already seeing improvement in different areas. I am excited about the improvement not only with my forms and technique but also how physically fit I will be. This is like being used to eating sirlion and then trying filet mignon. Once you've had the best that's all you want. I'm hooked because I am feeling like I did when I was a lower belt, when I was progressing every week. I'm progressing at a faster rate again and am getting my enthusiasm back. This was the best move that I could have made and urge other students to attend as many classes as possible.