My knees, my knees, my knees

Boy did I ever have a wake up call last class.  My knees were not letting me do things I used to do.  I felt like I was back after surgery.  I really need to work on getting my legs back into shape so that they support my knees. So that is my current goal. I still can't do too many pushups because I still have chronic bursitis by the shoulder blade. I have to start going to massage and see if that will work it out. 

Being accountable

I have not been accountable to my team and myself lately.  I get stuck in these ruts and this time I used the excuse of having to move and didn't have time.  Well, here I go again, playing catch up. I could always find some excuse to not train or attend class and it seems the longer I am away from class the worse it is so I told my son that he will have to find another way to get home from work on wednesdays and fridays so that I can go to classes. I need to get my foot back in the kwoon

Team Effort

I am coming to realize how important journaling is.  I am guilty of not spending enough time reading other students journals but am trying to do more.  It made me realize that by doing so, I can relate to other students hurdles and I also feel more like a team member. I think it really helps when your in a tough spot in your training. Seeing how others get out of their funk is helpful.  I will commit to reading and journalling more.

Renewed sense of enthusiasm

I have had a major shift in my thinking about my Kung Fu.  I can say that I have finally embraced the journey and not the belt. After making the decision to not grade in 2013 and instead give myself time to learn to train the way I need to, I have such a renewed sense of enthusiasm about Kung Fu.  It's strange, all stress went away because at that point, I realized that I will never quit because Kung Fu is a part of me and I will take from it what I can everyday. I will always strive to learn more and more but I no longer have a clock ticking in my head telling me that I need to get the black belt at a certain time. I have decided to take the scenic route and so look forward to it.

Day at a Time

I am looking towards the next year and grading. It feels like a daunting task and sometimes I think "I don't know if I can do it. I'm not as young as most students and I can't do some things because of my bad knees. And if I can't grade for black belt, I might as well quit because I don't want to be a second degree brown for the rest of my life"  These are some of the thoughts going through my head lately. Then, on the other hand, I think of all the other people that have made it through black belt while dealing with way bigger obstacles and I think " I'm just copping out, I can do this".  I have come to the conclusion of taking one day at a time.  As long as I do that, I relieve the stress that I put on myself thinking about the year ahead of me. I haven't been committing myself to Kung Fu lately because of these negative thoughts.  I am trying to work through them. I really don't want to regret giving up on a dream. It's just that some days it's just easier to not do my pushups, not do my situps, not go to class.  Still struggling.

August 16/12

It's been hard getting back on track after having holidays, especially with how warm the weather has been. I can't seem to take the heat like I used, only if I'm at a lake and can jump in the water to cool off.  My mind hasn't been there either. Right now I am busy looking for another place to rent cause I now need a 3 bedroom instead of a two. I am almost looking forward to fall for things to settle down so that I can get back in the game.  I know I have failed miserably with the UBBT but am not going to give up.  I look at it as a learning experience.  Some goals I set out of my reach.  For example, the twenty pieces of artwork. I have to spend way too much time on each piece to be able to get 20 done, even by working on my lunch hour.  But that's o.k. I have learned from this that I can keep working on  my lunch hour and slow and steady wins the race. I will have enough for next year.  I have learned not to totally give up when I fail at a set goal. Consistent action is the key for me.  That is my downfall and that is what my new goal is, is to work on that.

Can't Wait for Holidays!!!

Well we are still 4 people living in a 2 bedroom and for the most part aren't getting on each others nerves too much.  But the thing of stepping over stuff and the boxes is going to get to be a bit much.  We are moving into a 3 bedroom at the end of August. Soooo looking forward to it.  Not the move, but the space. What I'm looking forward to more than that are my holidays. Bliss, a week in the Shuswap camping in a brand new RV with my sis and brother in law with no kids. Never done that before. It's coming up soon, only 2 weeks away. 

On another note, I had to make the tough decision to not grade for black belt this year.  My life is chaos right now and I cannot put enough focus on my Kung Fu if everthing else in my life is taking all my focus away. By next year everything should be settled down and it will be my year. Just too much stress in my life right now. I'm somewhat sad but I am looking forward to doing my training the right way.