Day at a Time

I am looking towards the next year and grading. It feels like a daunting task and sometimes I think "I don't know if I can do it. I'm not as young as most students and I can't do some things because of my bad knees. And if I can't grade for black belt, I might as well quit because I don't want to be a second degree brown for the rest of my life"  These are some of the thoughts going through my head lately. Then, on the other hand, I think of all the other people that have made it through black belt while dealing with way bigger obstacles and I think " I'm just copping out, I can do this".  I have come to the conclusion of taking one day at a time.  As long as I do that, I relieve the stress that I put on myself thinking about the year ahead of me. I haven't been committing myself to Kung Fu lately because of these negative thoughts.  I am trying to work through them. I really don't want to regret giving up on a dream. It's just that some days it's just easier to not do my pushups, not do my situps, not go to class.  Still struggling.

August 16/12

It's been hard getting back on track after having holidays, especially with how warm the weather has been. I can't seem to take the heat like I used, only if I'm at a lake and can jump in the water to cool off.  My mind hasn't been there either. Right now I am busy looking for another place to rent cause I now need a 3 bedroom instead of a two. I am almost looking forward to fall for things to settle down so that I can get back in the game.  I know I have failed miserably with the UBBT but am not going to give up.  I look at it as a learning experience.  Some goals I set out of my reach.  For example, the twenty pieces of artwork. I have to spend way too much time on each piece to be able to get 20 done, even by working on my lunch hour.  But that's o.k. I have learned from this that I can keep working on  my lunch hour and slow and steady wins the race. I will have enough for next year.  I have learned not to totally give up when I fail at a set goal. Consistent action is the key for me.  That is my downfall and that is what my new goal is, is to work on that.