Day at a Time

I am looking towards the next year and grading. It feels like a daunting task and sometimes I think "I don't know if I can do it. I'm not as young as most students and I can't do some things because of my bad knees. And if I can't grade for black belt, I might as well quit because I don't want to be a second degree brown for the rest of my life"  These are some of the thoughts going through my head lately. Then, on the other hand, I think of all the other people that have made it through black belt while dealing with way bigger obstacles and I think " I'm just copping out, I can do this".  I have come to the conclusion of taking one day at a time.  As long as I do that, I relieve the stress that I put on myself thinking about the year ahead of me. I haven't been committing myself to Kung Fu lately because of these negative thoughts.  I am trying to work through them. I really don't want to regret giving up on a dream. It's just that some days it's just easier to not do my pushups, not do my situps, not go to class.  Still struggling.

August 16/12

It's been hard getting back on track after having holidays, especially with how warm the weather has been. I can't seem to take the heat like I used, only if I'm at a lake and can jump in the water to cool off.  My mind hasn't been there either. Right now I am busy looking for another place to rent cause I now need a 3 bedroom instead of a two. I am almost looking forward to fall for things to settle down so that I can get back in the game.  I know I have failed miserably with the UBBT but am not going to give up.  I look at it as a learning experience.  Some goals I set out of my reach.  For example, the twenty pieces of artwork. I have to spend way too much time on each piece to be able to get 20 done, even by working on my lunch hour.  But that's o.k. I have learned from this that I can keep working on  my lunch hour and slow and steady wins the race. I will have enough for next year.  I have learned not to totally give up when I fail at a set goal. Consistent action is the key for me.  That is my downfall and that is what my new goal is, is to work on that.

Can't Wait for Holidays!!!

Well we are still 4 people living in a 2 bedroom and for the most part aren't getting on each others nerves too much.  But the thing of stepping over stuff and the boxes is going to get to be a bit much.  We are moving into a 3 bedroom at the end of August. Soooo looking forward to it.  Not the move, but the space. What I'm looking forward to more than that are my holidays. Bliss, a week in the Shuswap camping in a brand new RV with my sis and brother in law with no kids. Never done that before. It's coming up soon, only 2 weeks away. 

On another note, I had to make the tough decision to not grade for black belt this year.  My life is chaos right now and I cannot put enough focus on my Kung Fu if everthing else in my life is taking all my focus away. By next year everything should be settled down and it will be my year. Just too much stress in my life right now. I'm somewhat sad but I am looking forward to doing my training the right way.

Things are getting crowded

When I moved into the condo I am living in now, I was living alone. It is a two bedroom condo, I thought perfect.  About 10 months later my eldest son broke up with his girlfriend and moved in with me.  Then my second son who went to school in St. Albert and all his friends there as well ended back home with me cause his dad moved to Redwater. Now my daughter who was living with her boyfriend in an apartment has been accepted in University for Nursing wants to save some money so moved back home with me......along with her two cats!!!.  So here I am, in a two bedroom with 4 people.  It's a really good thing that I have two reaaallly comfortable sofas.  The only thing is I have such little room left in the place with all the extra boxes, clothes etc. that I don't even have room to change my mind.  What can you do!!

Plugging away

Well my shoulder is feeling better but not healed completely. I am slowly getting back to full pushup position.  I am going to have to make sure I don't overdue it.  Been slacking a little bit with the kilometres, so going to gym tonight and back on the bike. I wasn't able to get too much done this past weekend as I had hoped.  Ended up helping my daughter and her boyfriend clean their apartment to make sure they get their damage deposit back.  Rachel is back at home with me so we have 4 people in a two bedroom condo plus 2 cats and a small dog.  Have an appointment to look at a 4 bedroom condo on friday.  Wish me luck.

An image I will never forget

Last thursday after work, I stopped off at the gym to go on the stationary bike. All the bikes face the windows outside. I was able to see people walking by the windows from their shoulders up. I was just about done my workout when I saw this man walking by the windows. It was quite windy that day. His face had been badly burned and as he was walking, he was wiping his eyes. The first thing i thought was Whoa, that is a fresh burn. Another fellow working out at the next station right beside the window noticed him as well and was able to see him from the waist up. After the man passed the window, I saw another fellow in the parking lot on his cell phone and waiving someone to come over.  Then I saw a firetruck enter the parking lot. This is in the complex where there are lots of parking lots and probably 15 businesses.  Then I saw EMS pull up. That man that passed by the window, I had realized had just been burnt and was obviously in shock and didn't know the seriousness of his injuries. The fellow working out at the station beside me said he was totally burnt from the waist up. My heart sunk for this fellow. I prayed that the EMS would find him. After about 5 min, another firetruck was looking for him and the police. I left the gym about 15 min. later and they were still looking for him. There were no fires around, I have no idea how this fellow got his burns. I hope to God that they found him and his image will forever be in my mind. Still really bothers me now that I am writing this.

Need a boot to the butt

Am not having a good week.  I got out of my healthy routine because of physio sessions and other errands that I had to run after work.  I haven't been able to do good pushups lately because of my bercitis and to boot, physio has not really helped it a whole lot.  I think I will have to schedule some deep tissue massage, as soon as payday. Todays the first day this week that I have time after work to go to the gym.. So i'm gonna do as much as I can on the stationary bike. Gotta do it more regular to get into shape. It's tough being a single parent of three, especially when all three are not working. Ah well, enough of feeling sorry for myself and I will give myself the boot in the butt.